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xoAbiox's FML badges
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xoAbiox's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML
by skanula414 / 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Kids
Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML
by jflac / 12/24/2014 at 7:03am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by drbckflps / 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/14/2014 at 2:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
by 404: fuck not given / 11/23/2014 at 11:34am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm / Ireland (Kilkenny) / Intimacy
Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML
by drop dead single / 11/22/2014 at 8:44am / United States / Love
- Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a… Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I… Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through…