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xoAbiox

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xoAbiox

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 December 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xoAbiox's page activity

Visits<b>jrod9327</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:09pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:00pm<b>rarsome</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:25pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:11am<b>hybridpordigy</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:44pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:01am<b>foreveralone83</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>emmingle</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:09am<b>softie123</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:39pm<b>cearacomeau</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 5:54pm<b>chasedavison</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 3:42pm<b>slickvic</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 4:18am<b>sniken</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:19pm<b>whwc</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 6:16pm<b>CheckMyProfile</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 5:17pm<b>fadi5</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 3:48pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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xoAbiox's favorite FMLs

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52618) - you deserved it (5536)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37884) - you deserved it (5514)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49595) - you deserved it (6059)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43535) - you deserved it (6729)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37622) - you deserved it (4315)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46374) - you deserved it (6550)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49972) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60101) - you deserved it (4452)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40408) - you deserved it (4972)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47037) - you deserved it (4011)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

#21014763
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42890) - you deserved it (8410)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by FMLPLZ (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54072) - you deserved it (6482)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend randomly decided to let me know that he believes there's really no such thing as cheating, unless both partners explicitly agree that the relationship is monogamous. And no, he wouldn't agree that ours is. FML

#20991424
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (4404)

On 12/13/2013 at 4:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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