Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xoAbiox

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

xoAbiox

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 December 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1628
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xoAbiox's page activity

Visits<b>jrod9327</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:09pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:00pm<b>rarsome</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:25pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:11am<b>hybridpordigy</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:44pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:01am<b>foreveralone83</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>emmingle</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:09am<b>softie123</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:39pm<b>cearacomeau</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 5:54pm<b>chasedavison</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 3:42pm<b>slickvic</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 4:18am<b>sniken</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:19pm<b>whwc</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 6:16pm<b>CheckMyProfile</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 5:17pm<b>fadi5</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 3:48pm

xoAbiox's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xoAbiox's badges

xoAbiox's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (4302)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (2716)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38854) - you deserved it (4338)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (4143)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36057) - you deserved it (6549)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32868) - you deserved it (4507)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32896) - you deserved it (2324)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41544) - you deserved it (3793)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53962) - you deserved it (2970)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

#21293948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35238) - you deserved it (17021)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (2661)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44363) - you deserved it (6606)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

#21288043
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32431) - you deserved it (4546)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: