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xoAbiox's favorite FMLs
by hendrixisgod86 / 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML
by inheritance / 05/05/2015 at 10:44am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love
Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML
by fatty / 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML
by WasNotAdopted / 04/28/2015 at 9:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML
by Groomzilla? / 04/28/2015 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML
by guitarki / 04/26/2015 at 2:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 3:57am / United States (Montana) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 9:16am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML
by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (Dundee City) / Work
Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 10:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML
by topaz23 / 04/16/2015 at 12:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML
by ifeelsoloved / 04/09/2015 at 2:25am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by :O / 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…