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Offline (the 09/12/2016 at 12:22am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 December 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4139
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xoAbiox's page activity

Visits<b>monkey8970</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:31pm<b>dust_mcg</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:20am<b>thequail48</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:48am<b>jrod9327</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:09pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:00pm<b>rarsome</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:25pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:11am<b>hybridpordigy</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:44pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:01am<b>foreveralone83</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>emmingle</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:09am<b>softie123</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:39pm<b>cearacomeau</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 5:54pm<b>chasedavison</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 3:42pm<b>slickvic</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 4:18am

Fucked!<b>monkey8970</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:31am

xoAbiox's FML badges

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xoAbiox's favorite FMLs

Today, my flatmate asked me to wash the large pile of dishes on the bench, and if I would start on cleaning the house which was a total mess. This would have been fine if I hadn't just walked in after being away for a week. FML

by I did them anyway / 07/20/2015 at 6:01pm / New Zealand / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my friend at the mall. He didn't see me, so I called him to say "Turn around." He took one look at his phone, snorted loudly enough for me to hear from way off, and put it back in his pocket. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML

by JustOutofCollegeAndBroke / 07/16/2015 at 2:56am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

by ow my kidneys / 07/14/2015 at 6:33am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom died when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered "Women drivers." FML

Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances". FML

by NeedMoreFriends / 07/03/2015 at 6:30am / United Kingdom (Wakefield) / Miscellaneous

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

by Iamsosorry / 06/22/2015 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids