Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xoAbiox

Online | Search for a member

xoAbiox

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 December 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1110
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xoAbiox's page activity

Visits<b>jrod9327</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:09pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:00pm<b>rarsome</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:25pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:11am<b>hybridpordigy</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:44pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:01am<b>foreveralone83</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>emmingle</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:09am<b>softie123</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:39pm<b>cearacomeau</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 5:54pm<b>chasedavison</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 3:42pm<b>slickvic</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 4:18am<b>sniken</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:19pm<b>whwc</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 6:16pm<b>CheckMyProfile</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 5:17pm<b>fadi5</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 3:48pm

xoAbiox's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xoAbiox's badges

xoAbiox's favorite FMLs

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (1583)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35592) - you deserved it (6477)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (2469)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38421) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (2360)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

#21336365
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34297) - you deserved it (2844)

On 01/13/2015 at 11:25am - love - by can't win - Australia

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36544) - you deserved it (2438)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

#21330614
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35498) - you deserved it (2971)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:58am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

#21329874
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (7965)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (42310)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: