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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10720
  • Number of comments : 527
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

....feel free to message me I don't (mostly) bite.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>jerryj</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:17am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:34am<b>Risea</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:59pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:16pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:06am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:52pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:44pm<b>HorrorJr</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 7:19am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:34am<b>dude_itskayley</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 9:14am<b>xXsnowbreezeXx</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:19pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:22pm<b>rackyjr</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:47pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 5:29pm<b>lilnikki123452</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 1:40am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:11am<b>JonathanB</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:19am

Liked!<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

xlord's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16537) - you deserved it (52745)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11760) - you deserved it (29354)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31128) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9896) - you deserved it (58730)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (2409)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (2877)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50452) - you deserved it (5490)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11480) - you deserved it (89048)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (44377)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (2809)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

#18431842
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8337) - you deserved it (67850)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (4991)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (5115)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

#18378000
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10464) - you deserved it (33199)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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