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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9983
  • Number of comments : 524
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

....feel free to message me I don't (mostly) bite.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>KidTajic</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:44am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:44am<b>Jasim</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:40am<b>shifty6889</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:45pm<b>hkorbcf</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:35am<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:37am<b>beefstake23</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:45am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:35am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>osoflu</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:24pm<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:19pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:42am<b>WTFSoUnlucky</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:57am<b>ProfKowalski</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:22am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:43am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:55am<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Mandybruin</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:49am

Liked!<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

xlord's FML badges

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (4855)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41081) - you deserved it (9742)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (46607)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (46607)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14257) - you deserved it (43950)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

#18767011
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8449) - you deserved it (57471)

On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

#18766012
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18248) - you deserved it (26318)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm - work - by student414 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (3794)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12095) - you deserved it (55713)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (9194)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (3124)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43615) - you deserved it (7108)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (5330)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16510) - you deserved it (52698)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11740) - you deserved it (29312)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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