Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xlord

Online | Search for a member

xlord

21Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13920
  • Number of comments : 537
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:26am<b>ethan_18</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:07am<b>jessal</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:17pm<b>HerpityDerp</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:38pm<b>meghanngaines</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:42am<b>Diablitos</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:27pm<b>taku05</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:33pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:10pm<b>brook823</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:22pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:19pm<b>Dorsalis</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:32pm<b>Patriots21</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:28pm

Fucked!<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:39pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:09am<b>notzax</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:13am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:22pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:05am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:40am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:11am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:46am<b>Dinoman105</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:31pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:08am

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

#18864677
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (2518)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (74787)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23709) - you deserved it (4868)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41357) - you deserved it (9765)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12871) - you deserved it (46834)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12871) - you deserved it (46834)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15206) - you deserved it (45959)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

#18767011
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8515) - you deserved it (57714)

On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

#18766012
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18988) - you deserved it (27401)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm - work - by student414 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (3811)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12952) - you deserved it (58328)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33409) - you deserved it (9229)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (3345)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46529) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36139) - you deserved it (5557)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: