About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19954) - you deserved it (911)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9849) - you deserved it (18545)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (16226)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18902) - you deserved it (1598)
On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (4609)
On 03/07/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Kayla_Zee_Ninja - United States
Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (2156)
On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17477) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (2733)
On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17330) - you deserved it (4362)
On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19009) - you deserved it (2406)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (3039)
On 02/17/2012 at 4:44am - love - by Cheap N Happy (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (7484)
On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States
Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19187) - you deserved it (3031)
On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)
Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (11682)
On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18538) - you deserved it (2607)
On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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