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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9959
  • Number of comments : 524
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

....feel free to message me I don't (mostly) bite.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>KidTajic</b> - yesterday at 11:44am<b>DrSkillz</b> - yesterday at 7:44am<b>Jasim</b> - yesterday at 4:40am<b>shifty6889</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:45pm<b>hkorbcf</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:35am<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:37am<b>beefstake23</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:45am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:35am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>osoflu</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:24pm<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:19pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:42am<b>WTFSoUnlucky</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:57am<b>ProfKowalski</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:22am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:43am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:55am<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Mandybruin</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:49am

Liked!<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9675) - you deserved it (32859)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25451) - you deserved it (2635)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML

#3826
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9550) - you deserved it (38604)

On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (2552)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (8043)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

#2721
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5484) - you deserved it (29653)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by godhatesme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17318) - you deserved it (4418)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43116) - you deserved it (3325)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59148) - you deserved it (7824)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8317) - you deserved it (64540)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

#518
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7218) - you deserved it (50247)

On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (22093)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version



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