About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33224) - you deserved it (6923)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3457) - you deserved it (19887)
On 01/26/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by godhatesme - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11436) - you deserved it (3045)
On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (2535)
On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50190) - you deserved it (6941)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6065) - you deserved it (47150)
On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version
Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4836) - you deserved it (34050)
On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17049) - you deserved it (15115)
On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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