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xlord

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xlord

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8136
  • Number of comments : 494
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:54am<b>abattior</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:51pm<b>sprout01</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:58pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:32am<b>feven</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:14am<b>ChaoticFoxen</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 4:49am<b>afkwarrior</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:23pm<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:40pm<b>bellabuxton</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:57pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:09am<b>Brinibaby13</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:16am<b>Greathoudini</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:32am<b>Supergirl1988</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:52pm<b>CharismaGeek</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:42am<b>UsernameistooLo</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm<b>Martyna0611</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:15pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:27pm

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML

#3826
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9516) - you deserved it (38482)

On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39072) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

#2721
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5456) - you deserved it (29463)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by godhatesme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17202) - you deserved it (4406)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42917) - you deserved it (3313)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58967) - you deserved it (7803)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8275) - you deserved it (64252)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

#518
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6916) - you deserved it (48885)

On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22470) - you deserved it (21489)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version



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