About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5430) - you deserved it (52278)
On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (416501) - you deserved it (26648)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (6230)
On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8833) - you deserved it (61123)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (1764)
On 02/10/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by Flavorite (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (494405) - you deserved it (44162)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15968) - you deserved it (26232)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15968) - you deserved it (26232)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4497) - you deserved it (33058)
On 02/03/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by j0natron (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6801) - you deserved it (33857)
On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11692) - you deserved it (49541)
On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15987) - you deserved it (8739)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7150) - you deserved it (23205)
On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19175) - you deserved it (1817)
On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7560) - you deserved it (29054)
On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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