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xlord

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xlord

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8326
  • Number of comments : 502
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (260321) - you deserved it (58835)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7381) - you deserved it (64363)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

#34306
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34722) - you deserved it (7696)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10905) - you deserved it (68426)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

#20879
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35449) - you deserved it (2340)

On 02/10/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by Flavorite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19957) - you deserved it (34021)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19957) - you deserved it (34021)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

#6517
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6338) - you deserved it (45837)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by j0natron (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML

#5857
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8755) - you deserved it (44766)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

#5350
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14689) - you deserved it (61858)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (9820)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (32703)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (2629)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)



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