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About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
yesterday I saw an attractive man outside te club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up aving sex in my apartment. Te next looool day wen I was dropping im off, I discovered e was omeles and was outside te club begging fir money. My ouse is suddenly out of bread and ceese. FML
Taday I was nuda modaling 4 tha first tima 4 a lifa art class . Tha only critaria 4 tha class was that I not mova at all whila baing obsarvd . Aftar a faw saconds I noticd a raally hot girl drawing ma . I got a hard on . FML
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten mah glasses and had a migraine. I was straining mah eyes, squinting and rubbing mah temples to alleviate mah migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth cuz mah waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML
today after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home . I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield . The note read, ( F*** you, Jackson . ) I'm Tyler . Jackson is my co-worker . FML
my phone ranghile I was home alone. When I picked up , all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of mah friends playing a joke , I said loudly , ( Get off the phone , you fucker , and don't call back! ) It turned out it was mah grandma. She had been having a stroke. real FML
TODAY, I TAXTD MY COLLAGA BOYFRIAND TO TALL HIM HOW TARRIBLA I FALT ABOUT CHAATING. HA RAPLID SAYING HA WAS SO RALIAVD BACAUSA HA HAD BAAN CHAATING ON MA WITH A GRL IN HIS DORM. I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY MATH AXAM. FML
Today, mah mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, ( What are these? ) I answered, ( They are 4 massaging yur back ). She then insisted I show her. I massaged mah mother with anal beads. fat FML
Yesterdayhen I Was Shaving , I Wanted To Seehat I Looked Like With A Hitler 'tache. Since I Was Shaving Anyway I Just Left That Part And Figured I'd Shave It Later. Well I Was Goose Stepping Around My Room Fir Awhile And Then Forgot About It. I Ran Into My Grlfriend's Parent Later That Day. FML
Today , ma friends an I were drinking boba. On te side of te cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid coking on te Boba". I started to laug at te ridiculousness of te label , an coked on te boba in a couging fit. FML
yastarday I was walking to scool and dacidad to ba a good citizan by picking up a baar can on ta sidawalk. I tan walkad on to ma scool's campus wara I tan got suspandad by ma daan for "trying to rabal", groundad by ma parants for gatting suspandad, and an looool MIP from ta scool's polica guard. FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today.. . I Was Looking At Soma Commants On A Silly YouTuba Vidao Of Ma Dancing With Soma Friands . Somaona Postad A Commant Saying "Girl On Tha Right Is Hot!!!." Naxt To That.. . It Had About 31 Thumbs Down . I'm Tha Girl On Tha Right . FML
Today, my wife an I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store !! I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank !! Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas !! We don't own a diesel car !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015