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xlord

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xlord

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7522
  • Number of comments : 490
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:43am<b>Dark_days_end</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:57am<b>Kurt_Archer</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:38am<b>171819</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:38pm<b>423</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:46pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:27pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:59am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:51am<b>dontkilljay</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:27am<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:15am<b>icandothecancan</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:39am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:43am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:43am<b>tatiana1126</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:23am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:47am<b>MrImright</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:49pm<b>chamely</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:40pm

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

#386198
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (85047)

On 03/16/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by badgrandchild - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (65091)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10711) - you deserved it (69101)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12937) - you deserved it (62702)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33099) - you deserved it (96424)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML

#267564
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62971) - you deserved it (8234)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:04am - misc - by fmlmylife - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

#240683
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44364) - you deserved it (9212)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

#210139
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58250) - you deserved it (3504)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML

#209822
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70874) - you deserved it (7981)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Damn_her (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

#197450
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73595) - you deserved it (25123)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by camp (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML

#196534
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44714) - you deserved it (16325)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by booyouwhoree (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the 75 year old blinding owner of the bar I work at called me over and told me to fire "Rachel, the stupid c**t after the next wrong thing she does". My name is Rachel. FML

#193676
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50957) - you deserved it (3322)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:26am - work - by nicooolea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

#190354
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (30293)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:21pm - love - by badtrip (man) - United States (District of Columbia)



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