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xlord

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xlord
  • Town/Country : Behind you, when you sleep at night
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 6415
  • Number of comments : 475
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML

#724794
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49085) - you deserved it (29774)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (64245)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (64245)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (151438) - you deserved it (25346)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9423) - you deserved it (103076)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21727) - you deserved it (111985)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140572) - you deserved it (10863)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140572) - you deserved it (10863)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

#532977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59704) - you deserved it (12671)

On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - love - by ThanksMa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25569) - you deserved it (57137)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

#506231
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56497) - you deserved it (111623)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by soliveyerlife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61296) - you deserved it (9098)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise 'moving in' party. FML

#495382
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56006) - you deserved it (3764)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by TrailerTrash (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (129988)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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