xlord

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xlord

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 19205
  • Number of comments : 545
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>Artures_way1</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 8:15pm<b>rajnidevraj1996</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 11:55am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 10:01am<b>SeveralLake</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 4:58pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 2:23am<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:35pm<b>ghaith</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 7:50am<b>MrZed</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:17am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:38am<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Palms2</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:03am<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:04pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:04am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:33pm<b>beansnrice</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:08pm<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 2:06pm<b>revan546</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:46pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 12:54pm

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:21pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:02am<b>interesting33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 1:23am<b>3051628</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:39am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:29pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:39pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:09am<b>notzax</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:02pm

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

by AzNFoo / 03/26/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

by Lady_Luck / 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

by rusty2020 / 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

by rusty2020 / 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

by ThanksMa / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

by soliveyerlife / 03/21/2009 at 5:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise 'moving in' party. FML

by TrailerTrash / 03/20/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

by Opplyst11 / 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

by lemonjuice / 03/18/2009 at 2:22am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.