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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10042
  • Number of comments : 524
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

....feel free to message me I don't (mostly) bite.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>seeoseek</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:59am<b>KidTajic</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:44am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:44am<b>Jasim</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:40am<b>shifty6889</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:45pm<b>hkorbcf</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:35am<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:37am<b>beefstake23</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:45am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:35am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>osoflu</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:24pm<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:19pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:42am<b>WTFSoUnlucky</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:57am<b>ProfKowalski</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:22am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:43am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:55am<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:08pm

Liked!<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

#897879
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55748) - you deserved it (8798)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

#891545
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16783) - you deserved it (52373)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:13pm - work - by ohhhman (woman) - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

#873540
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15735) - you deserved it (75440)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (90499)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

#865761
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8643) - you deserved it (102166)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92091) - you deserved it (27479)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a symposium at which my colleague was a co-chair. She and a new acquaintance asked me how it was going. I joked that the discussant's only job at this conference was to be an asshole. The acquaintance was the symposium's discussant. The topic was Rude Behavior at Work. FML

#830404
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7126) - you deserved it (53480)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:14am - work - by singingseattlite (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

#818560
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65283) - you deserved it (6061)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19015) - you deserved it (145435)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

#792212
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45575) - you deserved it (54106)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

#783275
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74583) - you deserved it (7102)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - love - by Troy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss came up to my desk to talk about a new project. He came up to my monitor so we can go to a website. My browser had frozen and I couldn't close it. The tabs I had open: Facebook, Gmail, Careerbuilder, Monster, and Resume Samples. FML

#768623
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15683) - you deserved it (63031)

On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - work - by ex-employee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

#760336
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (71330)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18983) - you deserved it (111015)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (57681)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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