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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10050
  • Number of comments : 524
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

....feel free to message me I don't (mostly) bite.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>seeoseek</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:59am<b>KidTajic</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:44am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:44am<b>Jasim</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:40am<b>shifty6889</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:45pm<b>hkorbcf</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:35am<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:37am<b>beefstake23</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:45am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:35am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>osoflu</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:24pm<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:19pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:42am<b>WTFSoUnlucky</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:57am<b>ProfKowalski</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:22am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:43am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:55am<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:08pm

Liked!<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8113) - you deserved it (26629)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

#19574398
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (2239)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

#19573690
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (2851)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10971) - you deserved it (27123)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

#19565371
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4582) - you deserved it (71536)

On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

#19563224
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6746) - you deserved it (87751)

On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

#19563224
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6746) - you deserved it (87751)

On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

#19552935
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29778) - you deserved it (2145)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by HighasaCloud (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (3835)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

#19484156
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35641) - you deserved it (2284)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19212) - you deserved it (36782)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

#19470748
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8961) - you deserved it (41512)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (6405)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia



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