Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15187
  • Number of comments : 540
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>dcs00</b> - yesterday at 4:43pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:33pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:25pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 1:34am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 6:09pm<b>emmeelgee</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:17am<b>tigerk</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 10:04am<b>Baller121</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 9:00am<b>night_and_day</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:34pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:23pm<b>krayzie2392</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 1:24pm<b>cassssssssidy</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:32pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:06pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 11:57am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:03am<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:30am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:39am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:29pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:39pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:09am<b>notzax</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:13am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:22pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:05am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:40am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:11am

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML


I agree, your life sucks (12470) - you deserved it (51481)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10500) - you deserved it (75426)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML


I agree, your life sucks (59082) - you deserved it (8926)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I over drafted my account, and I ended up paying an extra 35 bucks for a 1.99 item. It was an application on the iPhone that is supposed to help me keep track of my money. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18560) - you deserved it (50579)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:37am - money - by jedd90 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54243) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (61911)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12433) - you deserved it (50042)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:29am - love - by pinkrazrgirl247 - United States

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15264) - you deserved it (53286)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (105626)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57564) - you deserved it (3673)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML


I agree, your life sucks (48109) - you deserved it (16358)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (63470)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:31am - love - by f03_f0r_l1f3 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML


I agree, your life sucks (56401) - you deserved it (3520)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17371) - you deserved it (68533)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: