About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15302) - you deserved it (1241)
On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48302) - you deserved it (2257)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (16025)
On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (3107)
On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (31670)
On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19824) - you deserved it (3799)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5641) - you deserved it (17179)
On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States
Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13177) - you deserved it (1495)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15149) - you deserved it (1961)
On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6732) - you deserved it (18192)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8436) - you deserved it (21824)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3068) - you deserved it (60474)
On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4671) - you deserved it (63474)
On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4671) - you deserved it (63474)
On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24023) - you deserved it (1740)
On 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by HighasaCloud (man) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
