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xlord

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xlord

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7573
  • Number of comments : 490
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:43am<b>Dark_days_end</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:57am<b>Kurt_Archer</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:38am<b>171819</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:38pm<b>423</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:46pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:27pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:59am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:51am<b>dontkilljay</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:27am<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:15am<b>icandothecancan</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:39am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:43am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:43am<b>tatiana1126</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:23am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:47am<b>MrImright</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:49pm<b>chamely</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:40pm

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (46998)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11004) - you deserved it (58089)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

#19608696
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35637) - you deserved it (6113)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29026) - you deserved it (9304)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

#19608060
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19494) - you deserved it (2625)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

#19603666
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (1865)

On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57193) - you deserved it (3097)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

#19601816
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7740) - you deserved it (23846)

On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23866) - you deserved it (3604)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14327) - you deserved it (36112)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

#19592983
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (5389)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7769) - you deserved it (25711)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

#19574398
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18122) - you deserved it (2228)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

#19573690
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20427) - you deserved it (2832)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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