xlord

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xlord

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17421
  • Number of comments : 545
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>ghaith</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 7:50am<b>MrZed</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:17am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:38am<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 8:42am<b>Palms2</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:03am<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:04pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:04am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:33pm<b>beansnrice</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:08pm<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 2:06pm<b>revan546</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:46pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:02pm<b>frnk</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:09pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:18am<b>interesting33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 8:06am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 12:32am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:21pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 2:43pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:02am<b>interesting33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 1:23am<b>3051628</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:39am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:29pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:39pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:09am<b>notzax</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

by anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 2:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

by Boar / 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

by hc11bmd / 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

by shanxi / 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm / United States / Health

Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML

by gaga / 05/22/2012 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

by Leadamp / 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm / Health