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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10016
  • Number of comments : 524
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

....feel free to message me I don't (mostly) bite.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>seeoseek</b> - yesterday at 9:59am<b>KidTajic</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:44am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:44am<b>Jasim</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:40am<b>shifty6889</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:45pm<b>hkorbcf</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:35am<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:37am<b>beefstake23</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:45am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:35am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>osoflu</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:24pm<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:19pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:42am<b>WTFSoUnlucky</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:57am<b>ProfKowalski</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:22am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:43am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:55am<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:08pm

Liked!<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (1658)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (5812)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

#19812720
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9830) - you deserved it (49138)

On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6479) - you deserved it (38281)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (3873)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12746) - you deserved it (43100)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30756) - you deserved it (6949)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

#19667895
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (2045)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States

Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML

#19660967
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7092) - you deserved it (33117)

On 05/22/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by gaga - United States (California)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38836) - you deserved it (5156)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

#19635267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (5174)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17155) - you deserved it (4425)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) -

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

#19620851
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20142) - you deserved it (1912)

On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)



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