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xlord

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xlord
  • Town/Country : Behind you, when you sleep at night
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 6378
  • Number of comments : 475
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

#15260385
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38657) - you deserved it (5170)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

#15251436
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14631) - you deserved it (35557)

On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved

Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML

#15232480
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12334) - you deserved it (29594)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by tatfreak (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

#15193214
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9263) - you deserved it (36761)

On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

#15188781
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5346) - you deserved it (29785)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:39pm - work - by hardlyworking - United States

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

#15161731
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23602) - you deserved it (4893)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:00am - health - by a -

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8657) - you deserved it (67464)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7417) - you deserved it (44633)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (45478)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13602) - you deserved it (54996)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (3236)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10229) - you deserved it (37021)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67078) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25585) - you deserved it (3391)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -



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