About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)
Why am I up so early?
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Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (57399)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6362) - you deserved it (35823)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10340) - you deserved it (36049)
On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12318) - you deserved it (46733)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (2624)
On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (2673)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (28215)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59827) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (2795)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -
Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (5673)
On 01/31/2011 at 9:46pm - animals - by Wheresthebeefz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (88460)
On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (88460)
On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (7528)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (7528)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26873) - you deserved it (8459)
On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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