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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10646
  • Number of comments : 527
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

....feel free to message me I don't (mostly) bite.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>jerryj</b> - yesterday at 1:17am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:34am<b>Risea</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:59pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:16pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:06am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:52pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:44pm<b>HorrorJr</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 7:19am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:34am<b>dude_itskayley</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 9:14am<b>xXsnowbreezeXx</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:19pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:22pm<b>rackyjr</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:47pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 5:29pm<b>lilnikki123452</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 1:40am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:11am<b>JonathanB</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:19am

Liked!<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

xlord's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (12307)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41833) - you deserved it (5736)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

#15851636
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (7775)

On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46380) - you deserved it (5697)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

#15718198
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49901) - you deserved it (4617)

On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (53329)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16047) - you deserved it (45657)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

#15581627
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9270) - you deserved it (68580)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55319) - you deserved it (27714)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8796) - you deserved it (54318)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50045) - you deserved it (8165)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (3262)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (3262)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (3262)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (10819)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)



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