xlord

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xlord

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 19206
  • Number of comments : 545
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>Artures_way1</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 8:15pm<b>rajnidevraj1996</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 11:55am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 10:01am<b>SeveralLake</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 4:58pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 2:23am<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:35pm<b>ghaith</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 7:50am<b>MrZed</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:17am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:38am<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Palms2</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:03am<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:04pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:04am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:33pm<b>beansnrice</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:08pm<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 2:06pm<b>revan546</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:46pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 12:54pm

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:21pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:02am<b>interesting33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 1:23am<b>3051628</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:39am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:29pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:39pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:09am<b>notzax</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:02pm

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 3:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Animals

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:06am / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

by torny>horny / 04/10/2011 at 12:42am / United States / Love

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

by JJMan217 / 04/03/2011 at 3:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

by lovely321 / 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

by owies :( / 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

by freshman / 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

by phantomdriver / 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

by phantomdriver / 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

by phantomdriver / 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

by Username / 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (Florida) / Animals