About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47598) - you deserved it (21395)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7007) - you deserved it (46872)
On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41845) - you deserved it (6429)
Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (2453)
On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (2453)
On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (2453)
On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (9862)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)
Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25068) - you deserved it (3080)
On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -
Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25068) - you deserved it (3080)
On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -
Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (49090)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (3368)
On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (4297)
On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13163) - you deserved it (29263)
On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved
Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11215) - you deserved it (24818)
On 03/07/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by tatfreak (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8200) - you deserved it (29741)
On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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