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xlord

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xlord
  • Town/Country : Behind you, when you sleep at night
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 6372
  • Number of comments : 475
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

#15718198
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46763) - you deserved it (4408)

On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16402) - you deserved it (41606)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12913) - you deserved it (34912)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

#15581627
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8512) - you deserved it (65368)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52802) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7551) - you deserved it (49254)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42533) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (10081)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

#15447390
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (3809)

On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

#15447390
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (3809)

On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20625) - you deserved it (60157)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (3390)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)



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