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xlord

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xlord
  • Town/Country : Behind you, when you sleep at night
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 6373
  • Number of comments : 475
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

#16551400
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30641) - you deserved it (6099)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

#16551400
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30641) - you deserved it (6099)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

#16525568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you deserved it (3071)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by rapturezz - United States

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13247) - you deserved it (40752)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (8603)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15913) - you deserved it (58473)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

#16028485
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (24164)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:22am - misc - by AE86Turbo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (8894)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (9292)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29352) - you deserved it (11927)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (5184)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

#15851636
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (5995)

On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43464) - you deserved it (5464)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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