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xlord

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xlord
  • Town/Country : Behind you, when you sleep at night
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 6363
  • Number of comments : 473
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (4810)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (2262)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (4550)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

#17418352
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (4034)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by iliketoastalot - United States (New York)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (10874)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32313) - you deserved it (6587)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (8021)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (5638)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30714) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30714) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

#17071540
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (14542)

On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7192) - you deserved it (38796)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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