xlord

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Offline (the 06/25/2016 at 1:05pm)

xlord

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17058
  • Number of comments : 545
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:38am<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 8:42am<b>Palms2</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:03am<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:04pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:04am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:33pm<b>beansnrice</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:08pm<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 2:06pm<b>revan546</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:46pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:02pm<b>frnk</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:09pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:18am<b>interesting33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 8:06am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 12:32am<b>mystam4</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:24pm<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:57pm

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:21pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 2:43pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:02am<b>interesting33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 1:23am<b>3051628</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:39am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:29pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:39pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:09am<b>notzax</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

by Sally / 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Work

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

by bob / 08/11/2011 at 8:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

by maryrain / 08/11/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

by iliketoastalot / 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

by 99520 / 07/28/2011 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 12:30am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

by ninja_blasphemer / 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

by tgd4444 / 07/23/2011 at 6:29am / Malaysia (Johor) / Miscellaneous