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xlord

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xlord
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3762
  • Number of comments : 364
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)

xlord's last visitors

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xlord's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (6351)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (5001)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (6252)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24368) - you deserved it (5601)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (6685)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (6461)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (6461)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

#17071540
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13276) - you deserved it (11249)

On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7069) - you deserved it (38139)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34350) - you deserved it (4782)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (3378)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (3378)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (2712)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (3707)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28183) - you deserved it (4132)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)



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