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xlord

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xlord

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12935
  • Number of comments : 535
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>kerstileann</b> - yesterday at 2:39am<b>_Hazmat</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:06pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:42pm<b>NicoSnowFlame</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:03pm<b>cabub007</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:43pm<b>wratty11</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:07am<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 7:10am<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:25pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:29am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:38am<b>fantae</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Badkarma4u</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:53pm<b>ghostriley</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:03pm<b>MalcolmRodrigues</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:45am<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:08am<b>kakabloom</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:02am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:40am

Fucked!<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:13am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:22pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:05am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:40am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:11am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:46am<b>Dinoman105</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:31pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:08am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (15521)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

 Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML

#17793249
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42220) - you deserved it (2504)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by AL - United States (California)

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

#17773869
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

#17773363
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8362) - you deserved it (46454)

On 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm - animals - by shithead (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (2092)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

#17752221
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5658) - you deserved it (53275)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34867) - you deserved it (3353)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28188) - you deserved it (11525)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15431) - you deserved it (49418)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35240) - you deserved it (6162) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37733) - you deserved it (4653)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (11863)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML

#17686275
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2087)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by doughgirl101 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35185) - you deserved it (2494)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13443) - you deserved it (25497)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)



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