About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28908) - you deserved it (3191)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32690) - you deserved it (8560)
On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)
Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22329) - you deserved it (1383)
On 09/07/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by doughgirl101 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (1674)
On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore
Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9945) - you deserved it (15931)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (2375)
On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14711) - you deserved it (36637)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (29481)
On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5590) - you deserved it (44913)
On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18403) - you deserved it (3701)
On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (2235)
On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)
Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (3639)
On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14572) - you deserved it (29290)
On 08/11/2011 at 5:35am - misc - by maryrain - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (4002)
On 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by iliketoastalot - United States (New York)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36280) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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