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xlord

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xlord

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7605
  • Number of comments : 490
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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Visits<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - one hour ago<b>chocolate_toast</b> - 5 hours ago<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:43am<b>Dark_days_end</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:57am<b>Kurt_Archer</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:38am<b>171819</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:38pm<b>423</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:46pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:27pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:59am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:51am<b>dontkilljay</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:27am<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:15am<b>icandothecancan</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:39am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:43am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:43am<b>tatiana1126</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:23am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:47am

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (2005)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

#17752221
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5593) - you deserved it (52778)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33159) - you deserved it (3215)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (11462)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15159) - you deserved it (48819)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34190) - you deserved it (6043) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (4444)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39391) - you deserved it (11583)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML

#17686275
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27998) - you deserved it (1971)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by doughgirl101 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33590) - you deserved it (2391)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12511) - you deserved it (23800)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (3348)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (50940)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (41577)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

#17541150
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (61034)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)



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