About xlord : Rawr. That means hello in dinosaur :)
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12754) - you deserved it (37224)
On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12754) - you deserved it (37224)
On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16128) - you deserved it (32357)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27461) - you deserved it (4817)
On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27461) - you deserved it (4817)
On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18389) - you deserved it (10527)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML
I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (2135)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by AL - United States (California)
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (2947)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6300) - you deserved it (33337)
On 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm - animals - by shithead (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19072) - you deserved it (1673)
On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4166) - you deserved it (37820)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (2339)
On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23458) - you deserved it (10129)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11925) - you deserved it (35840)
On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (5426) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Friday 24 May 2013
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