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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8391
  • Number of comments : 503
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (17708)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9946) - you deserved it (58982)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51811) - you deserved it (16549)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML

#18022095
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34450) - you deserved it (6014)

On 10/19/2011 at 8:19am - love - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28677) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51062) - you deserved it (8041)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8101) - you deserved it (65837)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8101) - you deserved it (65837)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42150) - you deserved it (8540)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18309) - you deserved it (37066)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (5036)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (5036)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (3242)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (3242)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML

#17927244
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (2254)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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