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xlord

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xlord

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8397
  • Number of comments : 503
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

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Liked!<b>imateapot_723</b> - yesterday at 12:18am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:11pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:20pm

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xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (5685)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39934) - you deserved it (5171)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46418) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17238) - you deserved it (35197)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (2838)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57154) - you deserved it (4792)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42286) - you deserved it (16667)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46315) - you deserved it (2785)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48232) - you deserved it (14394)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47650) - you deserved it (3565) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18225) - you deserved it (38477)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7305) - you deserved it (32251)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (1820)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9012) - you deserved it (32829)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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