Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xXxrachhunnixXx

Search for a member

xXxrachhunnixXx
  • Town/Country : Norwich, Norfolk, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 443
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xXxrachhunnixXx : My name's Rach, I live in merrie England & study law at uni :)

I love music, especially rock, & I sing :)

I like to laugh at my own (and other peoples) misfortune sometimes :P

xXxrachhunnixXx's last visitors

mybarra6jdeezy01huloproDOMEinicTaylor22294El_MojiiitocarecowilovecuddlingmigglesLaxinitupPerSueTwo513maxymum7

xXxrachhunnixXx's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xXxrachhunnixXx's badges

xXxrachhunnixXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87999) - you deserved it (26170)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124061) - you deserved it (13810)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (151411) - you deserved it (25345)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91380) - you deserved it (28438)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116399) - you deserved it (11406)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (320259) - you deserved it (28087)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167948) - you deserved it (25761)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (93917)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91706) - you deserved it (17806)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (36028)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213804) - you deserved it (73286)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: