xDMACx12

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xDMACx12

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 458
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xDMACx12 : I'm gonna give you to the count of three to get off of my page before you get to say hi to my tommygun. 1...........2........... *macinegun fire and hysterical laughter* 3!

xDMACx12's page activity

Visits<b>TheLawIsHere</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 8:04pm<b>krisnick</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 3:02pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 7:21am<b>Skunza98</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 2:31am<b>haleyXcross</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 1:44am<b>TowelExpert</b> - the 10/09/2012 at 8:38am<b>failureusername</b> - the 05/31/2012 at 5:27pm<b>CamberwellCarrot</b> - the 08/09/2011 at 3:36pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 08/07/2011 at 10:55pm<b>the_ydi_troll</b> - the 08/07/2011 at 10:50pm<b>MzMegs</b> - the 08/07/2011 at 10:14pm

xDMACx12's FML badges

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xDMACx12's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

by ronboy / 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

by brooke / 08/13/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

by yeastly / 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

by MonCoiffeurAdoré / 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

by TheKunitzShow14 / 08/10/2011 at 3:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

by galen / 06/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy