About xDMACx12 : I'm gonna give you to the count of three to get off of my page before you get to say hi to my tommygun. 1...........2........... *macinegun fire and hysterical laughter* 3!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (1904)
On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12293) - you deserved it (14833)
On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States
Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6733) - you deserved it (18266)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by yeastly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22290) - you deserved it (1115) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by MonCoiffeurAdoré -
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (8741)
On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71620) - you deserved it (9139)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (22824)
On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21968) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (2187)
On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52612) - you deserved it (19746)
On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
