Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wrinklytesticle

Search for a member

wrinklytesticle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1462
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wrinklytesticle : ;)

wrinklytesticle's page activity

Visits<b>PinkieKeen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:58am<b>LordMegatron</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 8:41pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:35pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:45pm<b>gruvychild</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 5:36am<b>notsick</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:37pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:22pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:56am<b>fucMyLifeSoHard</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:03pm<b>jos_binet</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:52pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:37pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 11:37am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 11:11am<b>Dinderdon</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 9:55am<b>chrissy1791</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 4:39am<b>xxGheTToGumbYxx</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 5:18pm<b>tomc6748</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:23am

wrinklytesticle's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of wrinklytesticle's badges

wrinklytesticle's favorite FMLs

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24552) - you deserved it (2177)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (6345)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3117)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (1521)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (4218)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

#20077596
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20449) - you deserved it (3539)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (3775)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (3210)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (2791)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15604) - you deserved it (25907)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19572) - you deserved it (12422)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (2569)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44558) - you deserved it (3887)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8482) - you deserved it (29814)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16169) - you deserved it (10444)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: