wrinklytesticle

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 6:27pm)

wrinklytesticle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4683
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wrinklytesticle : ;)

wrinklytesticle's page activity

Visits<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:56pm<b>EPKSPARTAN</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:05pm<b>jodiitiger</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Raxy</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:33pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>PinkieKeen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:58am<b>LordMegatron</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 8:41pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:35pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:45pm<b>gruvychild</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 5:36am<b>notsick</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:37pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:22pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:56am<b>fucMyLifeSoHard</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:03pm<b>jos_binet</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:52pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:37pm

wrinklytesticle's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of wrinklytesticle's badges

wrinklytesticle's favorite FMLs

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

by Mouse / 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm / Kids

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

by AbandonedHouseWife / 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

by 3023-dang / 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Love

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

by fucking fratricidal / 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 8:12am / United States / Love

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm / United States / Work

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

by Jake / 10/02/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

by Pissed / 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love