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wrinklytesticle

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wrinklytesticle
  • Town/Country : Paris, France
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 914
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wrinklytesticle : ;)

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wrinklytesticle's favorite FMLs

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21286) - you deserved it (1619)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36184) - you deserved it (1887)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (1995)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

#20115354
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17979) - you deserved it (1445)

On 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm - misc - by fucking fratricidal (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

#20108846
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (1374)

On 10/09/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11640) - you deserved it (29241)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23111) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17227) - you deserved it (1902)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31363) - you deserved it (2395)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (2172)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9710) - you deserved it (39553)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (6158)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26358) - you deserved it (4698)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

#20082521
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14814) - you deserved it (1628)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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