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wrinklytesticle

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wrinklytesticle
  • Town/Country : Paris, France
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 911
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wrinklytesticle : ;)

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wrinklytesticle's favorite FMLs

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

#20135226
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (1460)

On 10/27/2012 at 7:53am - misc - by Ohwhy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18479) - you deserved it (2078)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (4340)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34695) - you deserved it (1728)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23722) - you deserved it (7633)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26178) - you deserved it (4308)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (1059)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (4181)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

#20125135
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19587) - you deserved it (1278)

On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9446) - you deserved it (31852)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (1279)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

#20124484
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3317) - you deserved it (30491) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10910) - you deserved it (25382)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (1676)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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