wrinklytesticle

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Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 6:27pm)

wrinklytesticle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3231
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wrinklytesticle : ;)

wrinklytesticle's page activity

Visits<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:56pm<b>EPKSPARTAN</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:05pm<b>jodiitiger</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Raxy</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:33pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>PinkieKeen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:58am<b>LordMegatron</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 8:41pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:35pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:45pm<b>gruvychild</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 5:36am<b>notsick</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:37pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:22pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:56am<b>fucMyLifeSoHard</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:03pm<b>jos_binet</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:52pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:37pm

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wrinklytesticle's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

by whytetrash / 11/02/2012 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

by 123alleyesonme / 11/02/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

by hallofail / 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

by hakuna matata / 10/31/2012 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy