Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wrinklytesticle

Search for a member

wrinklytesticle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1273
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wrinklytesticle : ;)

wrinklytesticle's page activity

Visits<b>PinkieKeen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:58am<b>LordMegatron</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 8:41pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:35pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:45pm<b>gruvychild</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 5:36am<b>notsick</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:37pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:22pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:56am<b>fucMyLifeSoHard</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:03pm<b>jos_binet</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:52pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:37pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 11:37am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 11:11am<b>Dinderdon</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 9:55am<b>chrissy1791</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 4:39am<b>xxGheTToGumbYxx</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 5:18pm<b>tomc6748</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:23am

wrinklytesticle's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of wrinklytesticle's badges

wrinklytesticle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (1537)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47167) - you deserved it (13993)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (2334)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (3677)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7296) - you deserved it (32211)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13296) - you deserved it (31460)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (15245)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20079) - you deserved it (1883)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (2086)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21551) - you deserved it (3016)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24686) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (2403)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

#20160706
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5813) - you deserved it (48099)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: