About wrinklytesticle : ;)
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Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23044) - you deserved it (1661)
On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20394) - you deserved it (3600)
On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17068) - you deserved it (1058)
On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16254) - you deserved it (1230)
On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3753) - you deserved it (63127)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (3650)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16954) - you deserved it (1363)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15119) - you deserved it (2021)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15195) - you deserved it (1488)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20230) - you deserved it (2518)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (8098)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27937) - you deserved it (2705)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11946) - you deserved it (2871)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12636) - you deserved it (2740)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14854) - you deserved it (2049)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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