wrinklytesticle

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Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 6:27pm)

wrinklytesticle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3717
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wrinklytesticle : ;)

wrinklytesticle's page activity

Visits<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:56pm<b>EPKSPARTAN</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:05pm<b>jodiitiger</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Raxy</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:33pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>PinkieKeen</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:58am<b>LordMegatron</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 8:41pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:35pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:45pm<b>gruvychild</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 5:36am<b>notsick</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:37pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:22pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:56am<b>fucMyLifeSoHard</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:03pm<b>jos_binet</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 6:52pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:28am<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:37pm

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wrinklytesticle's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

by shamefaced / 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

by mom / 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

by whaleninjapoop / 12/06/2012 at 3:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

by Murlocmurk / 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

by FlyingFist / 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

by VedaLynn / 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 6:53am / Canada / Love

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 3:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

by Gus / 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits / 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

by fabs1171 / 11/29/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

by whatever / 11/24/2012 at 2:02am / Canada (Alberta) / Love