Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wooley29

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

wooley29

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 336
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

wooley29's page activity

Visits<b>Clypsia</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 2:43pm<b>123catman</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:43am<b>StarWolf111</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 4:10am<b>kathryn14</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 9:24pm<b>brinnablaine</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 11:27pm<b>jen1682</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:57am<b>NinjaGirl01</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:22pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:40pm<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 12/05/2012 at 9:48am<b>riotofquiet</b> - the 06/04/2012 at 11:21pm<b>amic8n</b> - the 03/21/2012 at 8:39am<b>haha_goodone</b> - the 03/12/2012 at 1:37pm<b>vivaladino</b> - the 12/21/2011 at 1:06am<b>UrCapsLockOn</b> - the 12/20/2011 at 2:56am

wooley29's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of wooley29's badges

wooley29's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (6124)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47645) - you deserved it (10603)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54786) - you deserved it (6852)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17739) - you deserved it (3296)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (5675)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: