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  • It's in the can!

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    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Consolation prize

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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    23%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    45%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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    0%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    39%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    28%
  • 50 favorites

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    10%
  • 50 quality comments

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    22%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    47%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Wooley29's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - / Friday 11 July 2014 20:34 / Canada - Brampton

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

By Anonymous / Friday 20 September 2013 04:57 / United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

By reyoflight - / Friday 19 April 2013 22:04 / Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

By boblaj - / Tuesday 22 May 2012 16:11 / United Kingdom - Hastings

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

By stainseverywhere - / Wednesday 1 February 2012 07:11 / United States