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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (2805)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my fifty-five year old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend saying "I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16159) - you deserved it (1485)
On 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by whatthef - United States
Today, I found out that whenever a mistake is made at my work, my boss assumes that it was me, unless indicated otherwise, but he has never said anything to me about it because of my 'learning disorder'. I don't have a learning disorder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (1459)
On 10/31/2009 at 1:20am - work - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (3025)
On 08/28/2009 at 9:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (8034)
On 08/25/2009 at 9:21am - work - by mybad - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2495)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45144) - you deserved it (1602)
On 07/02/2009 at 8:18pm - work - by alwaysxgettingxshitxon (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9307) - you deserved it (29603)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Beccarr - United Kingdom (Wokingham)
Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59321) - you deserved it (4308)
On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86789) - you deserved it (7139)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (228752) - you deserved it (19508)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15381) - you deserved it (38955)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (1341)
On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)
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