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warwagon

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warwagon's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (2276)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11001) - you deserved it (58088)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (9304)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21859) - you deserved it (4796)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (9640)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

#18341850
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (1888)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85054) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31669) - you deserved it (3395)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (4035)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64938) - you deserved it (7990)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML

#10705425
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34049) - you deserved it (6680)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:47am - love - by vikingunicorn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

Today, I learned that the four girls who I assumed were my girlfriends' good friends and whom she was always talking about were actually characters from the television show, "Sex and the City." My girlfriend has fictional friends. FML

#3980523
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48211) - you deserved it (5739)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:16pm - love - by tubedout (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105418) - you deserved it (8217)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)



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