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warwagon

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warwagon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19989) - you deserved it (3166)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (6968)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
138 comments

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

#20102773
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12475) - you deserved it (24332)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you deserved it (2531)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22193) - you deserved it (2043)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (28388)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23567) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

#20099743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14728) - you deserved it (32690)

On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

#20099593
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17999) - you deserved it (5977)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (1258)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30714) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

#20098355
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (3831)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anna - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

#20098216
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12409) - you deserved it (24061)

On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan



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