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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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vgmaster

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vgmaster
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 344
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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vgmaster's favorite FMLs

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (15434) - you deserved it (7445)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (49531) - you deserved it (4513)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

#7463527 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (15272) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/20/2010 at 9:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (1622)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML

#7420452 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (3069)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:04pm - kids - by Brotherssuckkk - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

#7416105 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (1309)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by over_protected (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

#6613732 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (16229) - you deserved it (9331)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by Marcella_03 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17486) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML

#5450785 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (7763) - you deserved it (28953)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by BOOMerang (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45752) - you deserved it (10322)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML

#4999366 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (9307)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm - money - by Lizzzyygurl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML

#4385596 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (31668) - you deserved it (5484)

On 08/08/2009 at 2:02pm - misc - by kittykat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227 (588)

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (62863)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

#765740 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (36754)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)