About vendretta : Echelon.
vendretta's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
vendretta's favorite FMLs
by kidneystoner / 10/14/2009 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by lizzzie / 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Health
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Painful / 10/05/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
by Ilovelife07 / 09/19/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
by sara / 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by HHIChica / 09/17/2009 at 7:14am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
by sarahh38 / 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Ballshurt / 09/07/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
by iceman123432 / 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by pistonchamp159 / 08/28/2009 at 3:51am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous