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vendretta
  • Town/Country : Silent Hill, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 February 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1727
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vendretta : Echelon.

vendretta's last visitors

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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vendretta's favorite FMLs

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

#4405336
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84264) - you deserved it (6090)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

#4404906
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9819) - you deserved it (55884)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:43am - love - by hugedissapointment (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML

#4348564
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4561) - you deserved it (61018)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by fazzems (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45616) - you deserved it (15400)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (17972)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12168) - you deserved it (111857)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39563) - you deserved it (5139)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71647) - you deserved it (5682)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

#3949208
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (9761)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55683) - you deserved it (5863)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25965) - you deserved it (58212)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11521) - you deserved it (35900)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (56775)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)



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