Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vendretta

Offline (the 07/17/2014 at 1:59am) | Search for a member

vendretta

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1874
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vendretta : Echelon.

vendretta's page activity

Visits<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>MrHomedog8</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:30pm<b>kobelstone23</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:11pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:42pm<b>rick1</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:56am<b>Eivana</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:49pm<b>war3095</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 10:12pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 9:18pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>Evii</b> - the 05/09/2011 at 9:25pm<b>jedi012</b> - the 08/27/2010 at 11:54am<b>grantbennett</b> - the 08/14/2010 at 6:03pm<b>suffokate</b> - the 08/14/2010 at 5:35pm<b>Imnewhere</b> - the 04/06/2010 at 5:25am<b>AHX</b> - the 12/22/2009 at 2:12pm<b>lisafannypack</b> - the 12/14/2009 at 8:23pm<b>SheriffBart</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 2:29am

vendretta's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of vendretta's badges

vendretta's favorite FMLs

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (19428)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

#4746647
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22850) - you deserved it (6933)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34660) - you deserved it (10871)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9422) - you deserved it (91765)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56841) - you deserved it (11358)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40268) - you deserved it (9028)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72595) - you deserved it (5798)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (6460)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60132) - you deserved it (4493)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47256) - you deserved it (20821)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

#4407265
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13851) - you deserved it (53285)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by deflated - Ireland

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

#4405336
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94576) - you deserved it (7820)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

#4404906
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10254) - you deserved it (57191)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:43am - love - by hugedissapointment (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: