vendretta

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Offline (the 06/19/2016 at 10:49am)

vendretta

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3191
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vendretta : Echelon.

vendretta's page activity

Visits<b>tyler530</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 2:17am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 5:13pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:49am<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:03pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:29am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:59pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:58am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:26pm<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:59pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:17pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:21am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:25am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>MrHomedog8</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:30pm<b>kobelstone23</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:11pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:42pm<b>rick1</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:56am

vendretta's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of vendretta's badges

vendretta's favorite FMLs

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

by nwalsh2009 / 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

by mainlaw / 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Love

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

by Stressmess / 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

by TheGirl / 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

by Teaching / 11/12/2009 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

by catwoman / 10/31/2009 at 12:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 11:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

by skyhawk13 / 10/30/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 1:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

by roadbikemama / 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

by scarred / 10/22/2009 at 8:30am / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

by PukinFireman / 10/17/2009 at 4:20am / United States / Work

Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML

by Ndanick1193 / 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous