About vendretta : Echelon.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16278) - you deserved it (5820)
On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29254) - you deserved it (2313)
On 09/18/2010 at 7:13pm - love - by fmldailyyy - Ireland (Limerick)
Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you deserved it (1830)
On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28564) - you deserved it (33997)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4606) - you deserved it (26548)
On 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (27906)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (14121)
On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (7463)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13218) - you deserved it (3237)
On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you deserved it (5266)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19586) - you deserved it (3049)
On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16662) - you deserved it (4096)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States
Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12315) - you deserved it (24758)
On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16903) - you deserved it (2964)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22192) - you deserved it (4364)
On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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