vendretta

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vendretta

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2704
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vendretta : Echelon.

vendretta's page activity

Visits<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:03pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:29am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:59pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:58am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:26pm<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:59pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:17pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:21am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:25am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>MrHomedog8</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:30pm<b>kobelstone23</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:11pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:42pm<b>rick1</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:56am<b>Eivana</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:49pm<b>war3095</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 10:12pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 9:18pm

vendretta's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of vendretta's badges

vendretta's favorite FMLs

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

by photoman / 07/14/2014 at 5:31am / Austria (Wien) / Geek

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia / Health

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

by blackchin III / 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

by anon / 06/20/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

by faitesdesgosses / 05/19/2014 at 10:27am / Kids

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

by notbrowsingnow / 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm / United States / Work

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love