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vendretta

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vendretta

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2545
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vendretta : Echelon.

vendretta's page activity

Visits<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:59pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:17pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:21am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:25am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>MrHomedog8</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:30pm<b>kobelstone23</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:11pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:42pm<b>rick1</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:56am<b>Eivana</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:49pm<b>war3095</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 10:12pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 9:18pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>Evii</b> - the 05/09/2011 at 9:25pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:03am<b>jedi012</b> - the 08/27/2010 at 11:54am<b>grantbennett</b> - the 08/14/2010 at 6:03pm

vendretta's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of vendretta's badges

vendretta's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (3408)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (2528)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (2648)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26735) - you deserved it (3081)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (3752)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (4904)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (4138)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (2981)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34215) - you deserved it (7696)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (8198)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34343) - you deserved it (4126)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33715) - you deserved it (4961)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31437) - you deserved it (5338)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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