Search for a member

Offline (the 06/19/2016 at 10:49am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3337
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vendretta : Echelon.

vendretta's page activity

Visits<b>tyler530</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 2:17am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 5:13pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:49am<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:03pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:29am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:59pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:58am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:26pm<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:59pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:17pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:21am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:25am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>MrHomedog8</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:30pm<b>kobelstone23</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:11pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:42pm<b>rick1</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:56am

vendretta's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of vendretta's badges

vendretta's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML

by anon / 12/17/2015 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML

by LadyLou / 11/03/2015 at 6:42am / Australia / Work

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

by MedChew / 10/30/2015 at 1:01pm / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML

by Enanimus / 09/25/2015 at 2:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

by anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

by ddhaley1 / 07/18/2015 at 3:08pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids