vencaliber

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Offline (the 08/20/2016 at 7:49pm)

vencaliber

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 793
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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vencaliber's page activity

Visits<b>Sjus</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 5:13am<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 8:38am<b>Blee864</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 10:58pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:52am<b>MickyD18</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 12:26am<b>abbeyXD</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:35pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:59am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:55am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 7:08am<b>BeautyInDiscord</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:54pm<b>lionheart822</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 8:54am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 10:53am

vencaliber's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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vencaliber's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 9:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

by junior / 04/11/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

by ceedee / 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

by terry / 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

by bubbles / 10/12/2009 at 1:36am / United States / Animals

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 07/10/2009 at 1:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

by gabormelchior / 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous