vencaliber

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vencaliber

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 July 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 649
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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vencaliber's page activity

Visits<b>Sjus</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 5:13am<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 8:38am<b>Blee864</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 10:58pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:52am<b>MickyD18</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 12:26am<b>abbeyXD</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:35pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:59am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:55am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 7:08am<b>BeautyInDiscord</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:54pm<b>lionheart822</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 8:54am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 10:53am

vencaliber's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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vencaliber's favorite FMLs

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

by Unemployed / 10/16/2011 at 3:15am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML

by sadkid / 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

by Red-cheeked / 05/18/2011 at 9:08am / Work

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

by peedonme / 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

by gummy bear / 01/21/2011 at 6:41am / Love

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous