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vegan_muffin

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vegan_muffin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 551
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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vegan_muffin's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55211) - you deserved it (5983)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (47499)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

#15377082
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46350) - you deserved it (20716)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:26am - love - by lezbplove - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (45267)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (86480)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48011) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41606) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44443) - you deserved it (8553)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (37513)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (3807)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (15878)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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