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vegan_muffin

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  • Number of visits : 606
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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vegan_muffin's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56898) - you deserved it (6180)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (48590)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

#15377082
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48955) - you deserved it (21457)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:26am - love - by lezbplove - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15489) - you deserved it (46763)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19347) - you deserved it (88575)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45387) - you deserved it (7707)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45874) - you deserved it (8714)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13522) - you deserved it (41570)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (3880)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44328) - you deserved it (19811)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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