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vegan_muffin

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  • Number of visits : 625
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Visits<b>staaacey</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:31am<b>lop948</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 9:16pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:41pm<b>WHATAFAIL123</b> - the 03/07/2011 at 7:23pm

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vegan_muffin's favorite FMLs

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37283) - you deserved it (8120)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52417) - you deserved it (3499)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51116) - you deserved it (9830)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

#17294621
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31012) - you deserved it (5907)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Tallulah (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (8403)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45731) - you deserved it (15788)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML

#16100276
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (5711)

On 05/09/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

#16025758
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you deserved it (9038)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by kimftwxox - United Kingdom

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

#16016307
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (9703)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

#15959633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (12314)

On 04/28/2011 at 2:22am - love - by ummno (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

#15927164
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36488) - you deserved it (17418)

On 04/25/2011 at 10:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25897) - you deserved it (3447)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38082) - you deserved it (9052)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46789) - you deserved it (13865)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

#15508713
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (4737)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:10am - misc - by leeseyxoxo (woman) - United States (Florida)



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