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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15617) - you deserved it (11894)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (10189)
On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29841) - you deserved it (3591)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (6004)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28997) - you deserved it (2003)
On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29926) - you deserved it (2654)
On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33259) - you deserved it (3159)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm - love - by annie_nk (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (2145)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (3178)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64052) - you deserved it (15779)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29868) - you deserved it (4043)
On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44609) - you deserved it (7275)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (3319)
On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (3319)
On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30922) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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